I grew up in church and made a promise to both my parents and God that I would save myself for marriage. I honestly thought I’d keep that promise. I believed it with all my heart, and I loved God deeply. But then, one day, I found myself staring at a positive pregnancy test. I couldn’t believe it. How did this happen? When did I lose my way? My mind was racing. I couldn’t stop thinking about my parents and how disappointed they would be in me. But above all, there was this one overwhelming thought: “I’m going to be a single mom.”
I had always been the “good girl” — an honor roll student with big dreams for the future. I never imagined I’d be facing this. Everything I thought I knew about my life seemed to slip away in an instant.
The Weight of the Consequence
The reality hit hard. I knew exactly why I was in this situation — I had been disobedient, not just to my parents, but also to God. I had chosen to date someone who didn’t share my values, someone who wasn’t on the same path I was. I ignored everyone’s advice and stayed in that relationship, even though deep down, I knew better. Holding that pregnancy test in my hands made me realize the consequences of my choices. I was just starting community college and, instead of focusing on my studies, I was about to become a mother.
Dealing with Judgment
People weren’t kind. I heard the judgment — people saying I’d be just another statistic, a single mom who would probably end up living in the projects. Some even suggested I should have an abortion. That hurt.
And it wasn’t just strangers. Even in the hospital while I was in labor, I was treated harshly by some nurses because I was so young. Becoming a single mom was tough, and at times, it felt incredibly isolating. But through it all, I thank God for my daughter. Her life made me stop and think about my future. It was time for a change.
Pregnancy wasn’t physically hard for me, but emotionally? It was draining. I wanted to stay in a relationship with my daughter’s father, but over and over, I was hurt, betrayed, and even abused. Yet, I convinced myself that I had to try — that I couldn’t face motherhood alone. I longed for a family, but in trying to make that happen, I put myself in situations that only caused more pain.
Finding Strength Through Faith
Even when I felt completely lost, I could sense God’s presence. There were moments when I felt broken, like I couldn’t go on, but somehow, I wasn’t truly alone. It felt like He was there, holding me up when I didn’t have the strength to stand. My parents were also there for me, guiding and supporting me, and for that, I’ll always be grateful.
As women, sometimes we settle for less than we deserve. We feel unworthy or let others feed us negativity. I went through that too. But eventually, I realized I couldn’t keep living this way. I had to change.
The moment my daughter was born, something inside me shifted. She became my reason to keep going. The love I felt for her sparked a fire within me. I was determined to do better — not just for me, but for her. She deserved a better life, and I was going to make that happen, no matter the obstacles.
I started working full-time. My mom helped by babysitting, but those early days were tough. My daughter was colicky and had trouble sleeping. I was juggling work, being her sole provider, and trying to figure everything out. Meanwhile, my friends were in college, enjoying life, traveling — and I was facing the consequences of my choices. Still, I’m thankful for my parents’ support. Without them, I wouldn’t have made it through. But even with their help, there were nights when I found myself sitting alone, asking, What am I going to do with my life?
Realizing the Need for Change
This little girl was depending on me, and I knew I had to figure things out.
Eventually, I moved out with my daughter, worked two jobs, and made the decision to become a nurse. I enrolled in school to get started on my prerequisites. I was determined to give my daughter and myself a better future. But here’s the truth: I wish I could say that I changed overnight, that I never made another mistake, and that everything was perfect. But it wasn’t. I made plenty of mistakes. I fell down more times than I can count.
But I kept getting back up, trusting that God was there, guiding me every step of the way. My mom’s prayers and God’s grace helped me more than I can express.
I made it through because of the strength I found in my faith and the support from my family. God walked with me, protecting me, guiding me through the pain and the struggles I created. Over time, He allowed me to draw closer to Him, to understand Him more deeply, and to surrender my life to Him.
Your Past Doesn’t Define You
Your past mistakes don’t define your future. They’re lessons, steppingstones that you can learn from. And sometimes, the hardest moments in our lives can become the very thing that equips us to help someone else who’s struggling. You have the power to support, to mentor, and to guide others who are going through their own tough times.
This is a picture of my younger self with my daughter.